Misfit..

That’s what I feel like living there in Fes, away from home, having to be at school everyday.. I only feel like a misfit. Like I don’t belong, like I’d rather be somewhere else, doing something absolutely different.

I lost interest in almost everything there, school feels like shit, I’m no longer motivated to lift a finger, the people around me are so not who’d I’d like to have around… and I feel lost. Only happy when I’m in my own created bubble where I’d switch on my phone and put my imagination to work while reading stories about my favorite couple.

And just to be clear, I have no illusions whatsoever of someday living the kind of fairytale I read there. I just enjoy feeling the story and connecting with it, feel whatever there is to feel, be it joy, bashfulness, Goosebumps or heart constricting pain.

Now that I think about it, I guess I got so used to the constant feeling of emptiness, boredom and neglect that I don’t want to feel it any longer, so I run to my world where I could at least feel alive with every new feeling I get.

Shit, I almost forget just how great it feels when I put my thoughts into words. How clarifying and enlightening it actually is.

Inspiration: Numb (music video) by Link Park

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Gazing stars

Stars.. for each and everyone who cares to spare a look, a glimpse… they mean something different altogether. For me, staring at the starry skies has never failed to fill my soul with peace and comfort. Even during the instances when I felt absolutely alone and dejected.

Having never got a chance to meet my elder -late- sister, I grew up longing to what it would feel like to have a sister there when you need her.

Usually thinking about her would bring a little sadness to the atmosphere, but ever since I started gazing the stars, i would think of her and not feel as lonely as I was before. Somehow it feels like she’s there, watching, comforting in anyway she can.

Oh well.. there. That was my story about star gazing.