That’s what I feel like living there in Fes, away from home, having to be at school everyday.. I only feel like a misfit. Like I don’t belong, like I’d rather be somewhere else, doing something absolutely different.
I lost interest in almost everything there, school feels like shit, I’m no longer motivated to lift a finger, the people around me are so not who’d I’d like to have around… and I feel lost. Only happy when I’m in my own created bubble where I’d switch on my phone and put my imagination to work while reading stories about my favorite fictional couple.
And just to be clear, I have no illusions whatsoever of someday living the kind of fairytale I read about there. I just enjoy feeling the story and connecting with it, feel whatever there is to feel, be it joy, bashfulness, goosebumps or heart constricting pain.
Now that I think about it, I guess I got so used to the constant feeling of emptiness, boredom and neglect that I don’t want to feel it any longer, so I run to my world where I could at least feel again with every new chapter that I read.
Damn, I almost forget just how great it feels when I put my thoughts into words. How clarifying and enlightening it actually is.
Inspired by: Numb (music video) by Linkin Park